Yeah, we didn't get to go to the 2009 Tokyo Game Show, but that's not really my fault. Technically, I'm not allowed out of the country after that whole thing with the Yakuza run-in and that little mess I made while binge drinking at the Tokyo Airport. Long story short, all I have of Japan is the pictures I steal borrow from the good public, and the retarded-ass rantings of my wimpy co-worker.

Mourn the passing of TGS 2009 with me the way we always do it at SlobsofGaming: Boobs, Babes, and Badassery.


(BTW, that turd-burgular KenTheGreat1 wants me to give props to the fine photography of A. Quentin, M. Sedaghat, "sczoron", "kosuong", and "grdfather". Don't sue me. All I own is porn and unopened cans of Pringles.

Yep, you heard it right: pretty soon, Japan's PS3 owners will be getting live, streaming HD-TV courtesy of DMM.tv (essentially the Japanese version of Netflix) which happens to include an assload of porn from its adult section. We suddenly have a very strong, carnal urge to watch things in Blu-Ray quality.

Sure, the service is offering every sort of dirty, naughty fetish that comes to mind, but here's some stuff we'd pay top dollar for if we had the same service available on American shores.


#6: Japanese Variety Shows

Well, where else am I going to see Japanese girls breaking chopsticks and silverware with their buttcheeks?

As teased in a previous Slobs post, GameGirl.com's lovely Raychul went to Comic Con 2009 dressed as Cammy. Watch her walk around the show floor in this GamePro video and check out these 12 SlobsofGaming-exclusive photos she was kind enough to give us below!


Unlike The Pig, KenTheGreat1 and I, Lead GameGirl.com Writer/Site Manager, and SlobsofGaming friend Raychul Moore is going to Comic-Con. She's attending this year's celebration of nerdiness dressed as Street Fighter's leggy, green thong leotard sporting Cammy and will be covering the event for GamePro.com in video and photo gallery form.

So you have that to look forward to. Raychul was also kind enough to take an exclusive photo for us here at Slobs teasing her Cammy coverage of Comic Con. It's the butt one above.

I don't even know why I'm bothering writing any of this because you're probably not even reading it, are you?

The actual name of the game is Test on the Breast... but it's pretty much just clicking on pairs pixelated jugs before the timer runs out. Weird thing is it's a PETA sponsored game. They describe it as "a fast-paced, humorous game where the goal is to click on as many boobs as you can, with other breast-shaped images getting thrown in to steer you off course." In addition to having boobies, it also features puppies, owls and, uh, oranges. Play it below. 

'You play WHAT!?' Shia says playing the Wii is for pansies.

Well... not in so many words. Shia LaBeouf, star of Transformers and Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, made some surprisingly fanboyish remarks to BigDownload in a new interview. During the interview, he slams the Wii (along with Wii enthusiasts) for not being some sort of true, elite, ultimate console for killing things.

Here's some of what he said:

"I don't mess with the Wii, to be honest with you. It's kind of an amateur console. I'm not into the Wii thing. -Shia LaBeouf"

In addition to bashing the Nintendo Wii itself, he then goes to to scorn Wii owners themselves.

"This is how in a simple way you can find out if it's a gamer you want to play with. Ask them if they have a Wii. If they say yes, get the fuck out of there." -Shia LaBeouf"

I hate when people take fat steaming corn-speckled dumps on the Wii for "not being cool." If you don't like playing the Wii, good for you. Don't be an ass by acting like you're above playing the Wii. Fuck!

E3 2009 was bursting at the seams with gigantic new games like God of War III, three new Metal Gear games (Rising, Peace Walker, and Arcade), Kojima's Castlevania, and countless others, but the event also had some of the sexiest booth ladies we've ever seen. It was hard enough concentrating on doing actual work during the week of E3 without absurdly hot girls every two feet smiling at us and doing a commendable job of pretending we're not sweaty, unshaven game journalists.

The hottest of E3 2009's booth babes was easily Sega's live Bayonetta model. Watch the video below to see her move around in her skin-tight latex suit.

Video after the jump! 

As a gamer, watching this video is like having my stomach gouged open with a rusty shovel. Watch as this poor guy willingly walks into a studio full of self-righteous housewifes, only to be cornered and verbally disemboweled by the vicious monster that is Tyra Banks.

Wait, so Tyra thinks that Webb is a "Gaming Goddess?" Really? Huh, I thought that Morgan Webb was just some stupid chick who pretended to like video games in order to score higher TV ratings.

"In the end, Morgan and Tyra do their job and convince Richard to stop playing games as much, and to do normal things. Don't just say this 'cause you're on TV 'cause I will come find you! Tyra warns him. Normally that's just an empty threat, but with Tyra you know she'll hunt him down, skin him alive, and then eat his soul if he ever defies her."

Foamy the Squirrel may sound like an asthmatic kid on helium, but his over-the-top slur-tastic video rants sure as Hell don't mince words.

If you hate ads in your games, especially when you're trying to play the f--king thing, and you get product placement all over your face, this clip is for you. Oh, and there's copious amounts of cleavage abound in this video, so slightly NSFW and all that. Hey, big girls need love too (well, some of them, exceptions do apply).



You know what, I change my mind: give me more ads in my games, as long as those ads are nipple pasties.

We're celebrating Mother's Day by counting down the hottest, most insanely sexy moms in gaming history!

Fellow Slobs, this is what we've been cooking up the last few days, and our pr0n site surfing design skills are paying tribute to Moms! Hey, video game girls don't get enough praise as it is, but being a mother means that some of these 17 women pull double duty! From retro babes like Sonia Belmont to current beauties such as Soul Calibur's Sophitia, these video game characters not only bring male (and lesbian?) gamers to their knees, but they also completely refine the phrase "hot mama."

#17: Sonia Belmont (Castlevania)

Family Tree: Mother of the entire Belmont Clan.

Sonia Belmont's had a rough history, or rather, a complete lack of one. After her adventures on the Game Boy, the series retconned her out of existence. What a change that makes, though, since Sonia was originally billed to be the first Belmont that defeated Dracula, going on to sire the Belmont Clan, starting with little Trevor. Oh yeah, and Trevor's Dad? None other than the famous Alucard himself.