SlobsofGaming

E3 2009 was bursting at the seams with gigantic new games like God of War III, three new Metal Gear games (Rising, Peace Walker, and Arcade), Kojima's Castlevania, and countless others, but the event also had some of the sexiest booth ladies we've ever seen. It was hard enough concentrating on doing actual work during the week of E3 without absurdly hot girls every two feet smiling at us and doing a commendable job of pretending we're not sweaty, unshaven game journalists.

The hottest of E3 2009's booth babes was easily Sega's live Bayonetta model. Watch the video below to see her move around in her skin-tight latex suit.

Video after the jump! 

As a gamer, watching this video is like having my stomach gouged open with a rusty shovel. Watch as this poor guy willingly walks into a studio full of self-righteous housewifes, only to be cornered and verbally disemboweled by the vicious monster that is Tyra Banks.

Wait, so Tyra thinks that Webb is a "Gaming Goddess?" Really? Huh, I thought that Morgan Webb was just some stupid chick who pretended to like video games in order to score higher TV ratings.

"In the end, Morgan and Tyra do their job and convince Richard to stop playing games as much, and to do normal things. Don't just say this 'cause you're on TV 'cause I will come find you! Tyra warns him. Normally that's just an empty threat, but with Tyra you know she'll hunt him down, skin him alive, and then eat his soul if he ever defies her."

Foamy the Squirrel may sound like an asthmatic kid on helium, but his over-the-top slur-tastic video rants sure as Hell don't mince words.

If you hate ads in your games, especially when you're trying to play the f--king thing, and you get product placement all over your face, this clip is for you. Oh, and there's copious amounts of cleavage abound in this video, so slightly NSFW and all that. Hey, big girls need love too (well, some of them, exceptions do apply).

You know what, I change my mind: give me more ads in my games, as long as those ads are nipple pasties.

We're celebrating Mother's Day by counting down the hottest, most insanely sexy moms in gaming history!

Fellow Slobs, this is what we've been cooking up the last few days, and our pr0n site surfing design skills are paying tribute to Moms! Hey, video game girls don't get enough praise as it is, but being a mother means that some of these 17 women pull double duty! From retro babes like Sonia Belmont to current beauties such as Soul Calibur's Sophitia, these video game characters not only bring male (and lesbian?) gamers to their knees, but they also completely refine the phrase "hot mama."

#17: Sonia Belmont (Castlevania)

Family Tree: Mother of the entire Belmont Clan.

Sonia Belmont's had a rough history, or rather, a complete lack of one. After her adventures on the Game Boy, the series retconned her out of existence. What a change that makes, though, since Sonia was originally billed to be the first Belmont that defeated Dracula, going on to sire the Belmont Clan, starting with little Trevor. Oh yeah, and Trevor's Dad? None other than the famous Alucard himself.

Contrary to what we write, we actually love anime conventions.

Lots of nerds consider anime and gaming the same bag, and while that's not f**king true because video games are so much better, we never pass up the chance to see good cosplay come out of it. SakuraCon 2009 was no exception, and we've been looking at dozens of kickass costumes. If you didn't pack up your car and hit the convention, here's what descended upon Seattle.

"Vaporeon in the Wild"

HAH. That guy in the background looks like he wants to catch a Vaporeon. With his pants. The scared look on Pokemon girl's face really makes this picture a keeper. Mmm, tail.

Mega Man has always been a series known for its action as much as its music. When makes the soundtracks even better is the amount of fan-made material that makes its way into the Internet, like the lyrical legends of Mega Man fans like BrentalFloss. We like good hip-hop, and we're bombing down with the top 3 Mega Man mixes around the Web -- cause that's how we roll.

[#3] Mega Man vs. Fire Man, Dead Prez - "Hell Yeah"

I'm going to go on record and say that I've never beaten Fire Man's stage without help. It's not the enemies or the fire that burns me, it's the ridiculous jumping pattern just before the Robot Master's gate. That's why this rap video-slash-speed run makes me see red... but I can't argue against that fact the level burns, but music's HOT.

It seems that the obvious things never hit their mark until well after the horse has left the stable. Sure, the majority of Star Wars fans probably like breasts. All Star Wars fans like lightsaber fights. And it look this long to combine the two? For shame, Internet, for shame!

(Long Haired Offender says it's already better than all 6 of the Star Wars movies.)

See the clothes start flying off at 1:01 and 1:23 in the video -- it'll do a Force Pull on your penis.

Pokemon is a fun game, no doubt about it, but some of the battles you have to endure can feel like pulling teeth. Even worse, there's always a few Pokemon that rear their heads throughout the several games in the series that we could certainly do well without. Most series fans hate these five Pokemon with a passion... and we don't think too highly of them either.

#5: Zubat

Why We Hate This Guy: We've seen this Pokemon more than ANY other species in ANY of the games.

Oh, Goddammit, not again!

Every gamer who's ever played a Pokemon game HATES going in caves. Not because they often have maze-like puzzles that keep us there for hours, nor because they're always standing between you and that next Pokemon Center. No, we hated the caves because of the all those goddamn Zubats. If I never see another Zubat in my life, it won't be soon enough. Zubats and caves are the reason that trainers by Repels in bulk, or make sure to have at least one Rock or Electric Pokemon on hand for those occasional spelunking excursions. Unfortunately, this still hasn't changed in over 10 years: even in Diamond, Pearl or Platinum: I can't walk five freaking steps without bumping into a Zubat.

Nerds of a feather truly do flock together, and the New York Comic-Con is no exception to the rule.

We've been looking though tons of online galleries, picking out the best costumes from this year's show, weeding out the fat girls in anime costumes and skinny nerds in Naruto shirts. If you're planning on a future Comic-Con trip, these are 10 costumes you'll have to live up to. Avengers assemble!

Wanna see more Comic-Con 2009? Check out some of these kickass photo albums from 'round the Net. Give a round of applause to muckster, DIDEO, and fe505.

10. Fat Wolverine

"I regenerate fat cells at TEN times the rate of normal humans!"