It goes without saying that there are more ill-conceived Wii games out on shelves than we can stand. But as critics and gamers, we must count ourselves lucky that some bad ideas never made it past the drawing table. From the depraved and dirty minds at SlobsofGaming, we're bring you six rejected Wii game concepts that would make parents cringe and politicians run scared. Sure, we have Wii Music, Wii Ski, Wii Fitness, and other similar games, but what else could have been? We wonder...
"Tired of Mom and Dad cramping your style at parties with Wii Music? Get you friends together, turn out the lights, and get wild with Wii Rave! Featuring demographically-tested rave music remixes from all over the globe; you can turn your Wii into a light show for everyone! Use your Wii Remotes to pump up the volume by shaking them like rave sticks! The more Wii Remotes at one party, the bigger your rave gets!"
(Warning: Looking directly at Wii Rave's pulsing lights and colors is not recommended on large displays; may result in permanent blindness.)
"In Wii Strip Poker, you can have all the fun trying to undress a virtual girl in a virtual gambling environment! Featuring a variety of different girls with varying hair styles and breast sizes, you can now have a rousing, virtual game of five-card stud in your own room! Wii Strip Poker also features connectivity with the Wii Fit board -- lean your body forward and sideways to try gaining a look at your opponent's set -- and her cards!"
"Are silly anti-poaching laws hampering your summer vacation in Africa/India/Bangladesh? With Wii Poaching, you can hunt elephants and pandas until you've exterminated them all! With the help of WiiConnect24, you can visit your friends' trophy rooms, mounted with the heads of their top-scoring kills! Got a valuable ivory statue carved from elephant tusks? Why not trade it with your friends for that Siberian Tiger rug? Wii Poaching also makes use of the Wii Zapper; fire when you see the whites of their teeth!"
"It's all the fun of getting hammered without the hangover! In Wii Beer Shotgunning, you and your friends can race to get your virtual Mii completely trashed! Using the Wii Nunchuck to punch holes in your Mii's beer, tilt the Wii Remote back as much as you can to shotgun those drinks! With over 10 beers to choose from, including 10 Nintendo-brand specialty brews, you'll be the shotgunning champion!"
"Will your Mii be the first one to run out of luck? In Wii Russian Roulette, you finally find out how you would fare in one of the Motherland's most extreme sports! With tons of different guns, including the new Wii Zapper-Six Shooter and the good 'ol Smith & Wesson, you'll literally have a blast!"
"Bas Rutten's Street Defense features some of the most brutal, extreme, and murderous fighting moves know to man. Just look at him! He is the textbook definition of badass, and if you don't agree, Bas Rutten will come to your house and head-butt you IN THE GROIN. Don't pass up Wii Street Defense, where you'll learn how to cripple anyone on the street with your Wii Remote and Nunchuck. Got a friend over? Bas Rutten will show you how to choke a burglar (or a cheating friend) with the controller cord, hit him in the liver with Wii Console, and stab out his eye with our handy Wii Sensor Bar! Don't miss out on The Bas Rutten System in Wii Street Defense, or you'll be SORRY."
"Don't just take our word for it: see Bas Rutten's patented street fighting system here!"
